Confession Tuesday

My son pushes.

C is 2 years old and that supposedly can be part of being 2.  The most unfortunate part though is he tends to push kids younger than himself and predominantly girls.  It started the day we brought his sister home.

This behavior has severely impacted where we go with him.  If we are on our own with the two of them, it means the playground is out, playgroups are out, and classes are out.  It also means most outings are fairly stressful for my husband and I as one of us has to be very actively “on” C.

I realized this was stressful and a drag in terms of restricted outings.  However, I didn’t fully realize the whole impact it was having on me until I was telling some girlfriends about it all over dinner.  I got really emotional.  I wasn’t expecting that reaction from myself.

The two worst parts of all this are as follows:

1)      The looks and silence, sometimes even wrath, from other parents both towards ourselves and towards C.  Most often when we apologize, the other parent won’t even look at us let alone recognize we said anything.  Really no matter how diligent you are to prevent it, most children will hurt another child at some point and empathy from other parents can make such a difference.  We’re all trying our best.

2)      My son is really a wonderful child.  He is just struggling with boundaries around this one behaviour right now.  But when we are out, I need to treat him like a liability and others give him glares like he’s this bad kid.  He’s not.  He is a beautiful, funny, intelligent, and loving child.  But the pushing causes everyone to miss all the wonderful parts.

So when I am feeling defeated as a parent, I try to remember to be gentle with myself.  I get myself a nice treat (this time it was a really nice hot chocolate mix from Murchie’s) and try to think about things I’m thankful for to distract me from the negativity.

 3 Things I am Thankful For

1)      My children are healthy and strong.

2)      My husband makes me laugh-sometimes with him, sometimes at himJ

3)      Underground parking (stupid, I know, but on a day like today when it is pouring, it was really great to not get myself and the baby soaked or to not have to try to juggle setting up a stroller with wet hands).

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2 Responses to Confession Tuesday

  1. Elaan says:

    Unfortunate that you don’t get more understanding from other parents. Surely they will all have challenges (public or private) with their own kids. Don’t take it too much to heart – I am willing to bet that many times it’s just a thoughtless reaction, and when those people have time to reflect, they will come to a different understanding.
    As for C’s pushing, you and J sound like you are doing all the right things to me! I am hoping other Moms will comment on this post because I know MANY of them personally who have had to deal with issues like pushing or biting or hitting. You’re not alone! xo

  2. Thanks for the support Elaan:)

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