As a parent I have learned there is a new walk of shame. Gone are the days when it meant a youth walking home in the morning in obvious going-out-on-the-town clubbing clothes from the night before. The parental form of this walk has many of the same characteristics though: head down, walking quickly away, trying not to meet anyone else’s gaze while people look on and snicker or judge.
One big change is, obviously, the story behind the walk. The causes are more creative now. There is the classic “tantrums in public”. I have been known to walk through Superstore singing E-I-E-I-O in an attempt to keep my children entertained and/or drown out crying until I could pick up that damn carton of milk. I got my kids out of the house, into car seats, then out of car seats, and then into the store and I’ll just have to come back later for it if I don’t get it now so…I am not leaving without it!
Exiting a building with a screaming child in tow is always a challenge but at least Superstore is noisy. There was once a 15 day period when we were asked to leave the library, not once but twice, and then I had to walk through the WHOLE library (our library’s children’s section is at the farthest point from the door, of course) with a protesting, screaming child. In fact, with two screaming children as Q has recently decided that when C cries and screams, she might too. I actually think this example counts as two walks of shame in one: the screaming leaving and the being kicked out.
But our parental walk of shame hall of fame moment to date has involved, oh wait for it, poo. At two, C is fascinated with the stuff and has realised he can access it if he puts his hand in his diaper. The first time this happened was the worst. It was at a friend’s house. Well, to clarify, it wasn’t even her house but her parents’ house. I was out of the room changing Q at the time and so C ended up getting it on the chair, the table, and the stairs before being stopped. Thank heavens none of those items were covered in fabric or carpet, but still!!!
Ah, parental walks of shame…the great thing is after the fact you can (usually and this might take time to get there) laugh about them and they become great stories to tell. Just wait till C’s wedding day…
What is your parental walk of shame hall of fame moment to date?